Paaarreeennntttsss~~~

My parents are back.

XD;; Their flight got delayed, so...

that pretty much explained why I went home laaaate. x__x;;

And surprisingly I got chipper and hyper-ish. XD;;

Maybe because they bought me chocos? Hahaha, I don't know. x___x

These two has probably gotta be my shortest two entries ever! I'll be posting later ons when I've got an idea what to write.

;-; Nothing much happened today though. *goes and snoozes on mat*

KaoCHO's Plans with Friends (02)

:o Okay, maybe NOT plans, but this happened at school today. ;P Trying to embarrass yah, Kuroru!

We were rambling on about our blogs and all, and when we came to Ian's, Nacchan and I kept pestering her what '-k' meant at the back of her URL. x__x She won't say a word, and we just staaaaared at her. :P She got slightly irritated, but once we got on a different topic, Nacchan asked again.

:o Kuroru told Nacchan, she told me what K meant.

We all yelled out random words.

"KANASAI!" Lol, that just mean bullshit in Chinese.

We went on to teacher's names, and.. o_O

"Teacher Kasuma!" Kuroru cried out.

Nacchan and Ian was like, 'Kasuma? Who's that? It sounds familiar.'

'o______o SINCE WHEN IS MY DAD A TEACHER?!' I yelled out.

"OH YEAH, THAT'S KAORU'S DAD'S NAME!!" We all laughed at Kuroru. o_O When was my DAD ever a teacher? XD;; It'll be creepy if he was.

x__x He might be having a gamer's talk with the guys, or go like, 'Are you Kaoru's boyfriend?!' x__x But he's not like that. XD;; That would be me. My dad would more likely be... like... o__o.. I can't imagine my dad as a teacher. XD;;

We continued to ramble on, and Ian gave us this sticker that says our nicknames.

'Kacho-Maxx' o_o I was like.. 'Kacho?' XD Yeah she forgot the 'O'. It sounds lot like something in Pokemon! 'Kacho! Ka ka ka choooooo!' Lmao. And Ian would be like, 'KaCHO! I choose YOU!' And I'll jump out of my bed, 'Ka-CHOOOOOOO!' Lol, I'm being lame like Kuroru now. ;P

Well, that's all for now. x___x Btw, anyone ever farted on an uncooked chicken before?

:P I now wonder how many regular readers I have;
Ian, Nacchan, Asshie, Nickt... & apparently Mr. IL&MC too. o_O

Now I wonder how much he read. XD;;

Uwaahhh~

I still have my butterscotch, and random tiny rock sweets from Australia. It made me think of how it was in Australia. ^^ It was a nice experience and definitely unforgettable!

I somehow feel that I'm missing it a lot. XD;; I mean, I would LOVE to live there..

x__x To be honest, I wished I could have brought my friends with during the trip, so we can venture out while my dad sleeps and my mom is at the meeting! x__x

Cars pass by, people being nice, random stuff happening outside! ^^ And for that one week, I got quite attached to Australia. ;-;

It remember it was cold, and we always need to bring our jacket along! But a lot of people were so used to the coldness that they were prancing around in their bikinis. o_O;;

The stuffs were expensive, but a lot of stores. The one food that I kept buying there was the ice cream. ^^ We stayed at an apartment, and it is VERY expensive. :o Ours was the guest section, but the next building was for permanent residents, so you can practically just buy it and live there forever. XD;; It was a VERY nice area. When you go out to the balcony, you can feel the wind, and when you look down (depending on what view you took), I saw the Circle on Cavill! :P

It's like one huge circle patch, and then there's the stones and pathway. Then the shops around it were arranged in a larger circle! Nearby were some cafes, and clothes store, as well as a grocery store, and an ice cream parlor. ^^ You could sit at the green grass or pathway, and look up. :o You would find a HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE TV SCREEN!! :o And at nights, they usually play a movie. It's on all day. But at night, I like it the best! You just sit around, or lie down, and look at the tv screen with everyone else. And you get fresh air! ^^ I used to sit around and watched the tv while my parents went to shop nearby. XD;; I was a lazy bum, but I really liked the place. ;-;

I would really want to go back and own an apartment there myself! XD;;

Things I Want To Do / Change For These Two Years

x___x I may have said this a lot, but I need a list to remind me. SERIOUSLY. XD;; But I'll be adding each material one, by one.

For 2008;
1) Plan out carefully and slowly on what I want to do in the future, and be sure of it!
2) Try following a small schedule at least. x___x;;
3) Develop the ability to.. wake up when I want to! XD;; (Very impossible goal)
4) e_o Try... being more feminine, and all.. XD;; After exams. Lol.
5) x__x Sell all unwanted, or unloved manga! XD;;
6) Be able to enjoy and celebrate my birthday for the first time? ^^;; Lol.
7) 2nd Christmas! Yay! e__e And carefully planned.
8) Pierce my ears again by the end of the year. :)

For 2009;
1) Get rid my fears of.. cockroaches. x___x
2) Be better in cooking! And I can cook more stuff. :3
3) Try to weaken my gaming habits. x___x Once I'm addicted, I'm addicted.
4) Join and learn how to dance! Arashi style, yo! (Lol, refer to 'All or Nothing' by Arashi, their PV)
5) Spend less money on manga, anime, dorama, etc. x___x
6) :P Finish watching all the unwatched CDs!
7) Clean out my stuff..
8) :3 Do stuff like.. handicrafts, or play a musical instrument!
9) Develop better talking skills. e_o *referring to Teacher's comment on how soft and small my voice was for the Orals*
10) x___x Get a new swimming suit.. That's for sure!
11) Send more emails to my friends!
12) Add more colours to my room. ^^ It looks neat and all.. but not so warm.
13) Get rid fears of.. ghosts. o_o;;
14) Get rid of camera phobia!
15) Get a web cam! XD;;
16) Be able to host parties and all!
17) More social! :P And show everyone how I REALLY am online! *grins*
18) Force Mr. IL&MC to- hmmm... o_o Do something.. I don't know. Lol. XD I KNOW! To cook for me. ^^

Music: All or Nothing (By Arashi)
Dorama: None
Games: DOMO (hibernating characters x___x)
MSN: Online/Away

Time: 24th May 2008, 9.14PM

(Last Update: 25/05/08)

KaoCHO's Wonders on Life (04)

Have you ever wondered why some people has great luck in these, and the worst luck in those?

Well, I have been wondering about that. One day, every thing in your life was fine. You swear, it was the best and most enjoying day of your life! Everyone's talking and friends with you, you have a loved one nearby, your entertainment life is amusing, and everything was going the way you liked it to go!

But suddenly, all your luck changed, and everything turned upside down. Gosh, I really hated those moments. When one thing is over, another bad thing happens. It's your worst day EVER!

Usually, it would happen to one person, and one person only at a time. But what happens if everyone in a group of four friends are slowly experiencing it? Life couldn't have been worse. Especially when those problems may have only slight relation to each other. What can we do to come up with 4 different kinds of solutions?

Last year, everything was going so well.. We all became close friends! We enjoyed different stuff! We all made plans! And I thought nothing dramatic could happen like this...

This year, everything changed. Everyone was experiencing a bit of stress for the exams, but that's expected. What we all didn't expect was the problems that laid down in front of us. We all had different paths, and now, we're in the midst of trying to cross a different river, all with different methods.

I know, that this river I'm passing, was nothing like from the past. In the past, my attempts of running away wouldn't fail. And stuff like ignorance would help. But this time, I know those two won't be able to solve anything here. What was I to do?

Right now, everyone of us are screaming, 'Help me... for a bit...' though we may hide those feelings. Even I have to say, I want to scream for help, but I know I can't. We're all occupied with the problems we're facing, and this may be the turning points of some of us. As for me, I'm honestly not sure. Ignoring this fact would just hurt me, but I'm scared of moving on.

I guess I'm those type to, sit back, and watch everything, so I can learn from it. But since I never had much of a friend to rely on during my primary years, and a few years for my secondary years, I never experienced this problem before. It's like a foreign language to me. My parents had taught me what was wrong and what was right in the past, but they had never thought me about these kind of problems I would face.

Though, our main problems are sort of different, yet it's related as it has something to do with studies, or our future. x__x I honestly don't know what else to do, and I'm already stuck in the beginning of the river crossing..

KaoCHO's Series of Confessions (01)

x__x Yeeeay, new section! Hahaha.

Actually, I got to talking with Nacchan. And I realised how much I was thinking about my own matters, that I neved got to know what's going on with the rest. x___x "Ah.. How insensitive of me.." I thought. ^^ I listened, but now I know our problems here and there..

'What about Kuro?' I thought. x___x I thought we all needed each other at this time.. but all these problems now? I don't know where to start.. My problem is the lightest, so mine can wait.. or can it? Maybe my heart can't. XD;;

But as for now, let's all just go out for a picnic after the exams! We can all talk.. x___x And I'll tell who I like. :P (You should be happy there, Mr. I-Love&Married-Communism) XD;;

x___x Aaah, 'liking someone again' people might think here. x__x But all I had crushes on are usually towards fictional characters, idols who I never met before, or close friends (but that lasts for a shoooort time XD). x___x But here I am.. falling for HIM. Damn you, Mr. IL&MC!! x___x;; Lol..

These crushes were short, and unimportant.. But I have a slight feeling.. this crush.. is going to take a different route. x___x And, I may have been good in other stuff, but.. you know.. I'm very hopeless and useless in my OWN love life. x___x;; ....

KaoCHO of Today (02) + New Section!

Today ish... 23rd May, 2008, 6.21AM when I started, aaand, it's a Friday!

Mood:
I feel normal, and happy! But STILL distracted. ~___~;;

Social Life:
:P It got me thinking.. (Check KaoCHO's Wonders on Life (03) )

Money Life:
x____x Still have no money life..

Gaming Life:
x____x;; I've stopped going on Kazu, wood sales weren't as great as in the past. :P I stopped after my last sale.

Internet Life:
Blogging habits are down a bit. ^^ Though, now I'm hooked up on Arashi again! ARGH!

Love Life:
x____x;; I'm really not sure about this...

Family Life:
Ha... My parents are away and doesn't know about my Exams..

Study Life:
x____x;; Exams start by tomorrow..

Health:
Still sick, with coughs&sniffles. Though, I don't know if its my body, or my mind which is exhausted.. x__x;; I feel like sleeping a lot..

KaoCHO's Wonders on Life (03)

It's always on my mind; whenever people make mistakes, it was said, that the mistake will teach them not to make it. But for me, all my mistakes happen again and again. x___x; And I've noticed that, whenever I get emo and depressed; its usually when I have friend/social problems. x___x; Which is a pretty sad thing for me, since I don't consider myself having that much friends, but hey.. At least I have a few. ^^;;

My usual mistakes with friends is that, when I find that there was nothing more to talk about.. like no same interest, or the fact that I feel like a total outcast in that group, I just keep silent. A 'hi' may last for a few days, before I stop saying it. x___x; I guess I tend to drift far from my friend after that, and a few weeks later, we're friends again.. but end up drifting far again. x___x; It happens quite a lot to me. I guess my interest are never normal.. XD;;

^^ Having friends are good, just that, whenever they talk about something foreign to you, you don't know what to say. And when I don't, I keep silent for a long time. These things like, 'Books', 'Karate', 'MCR' and all... and they talk about stuff that happened when I wasn't there. Maybe, Zushi and Zul and all, they have other friends, but I only rely on friends who has different interests than me.. I feel more of an outcast. Both in society and in class. AND in my group of friends.. So whenever, someone asked me, if I had to choose between all my friends, who would I go with? I guess I'd pick Asshie. Since he pretty much likes stuff that I do.. like... bands, and all. ^^ But it'll be selfish of me.. So I never would want to answer that.. so if a friend of mine choose me, I'll just go along with it.

I guess that would be a reason why I go online. Because I know I can meet more people with same interest as me, or someone who I can get along well. I wonder if you could say it's my field of freedom since I'm not scared to show people how I really am. XD;; x___x;

Mistakes are what teaches people from making them. x___x; I don't think my mistakes can teach me anything. XD;; It's not easy to avoid, if it was part of your personality, like mine. x___x; I honestly think personalities can get in people's way. In a lot of ways.

Music: La Tormenta 2004 (By Arashi)
Dorama: None
Games: DOMO (Kaoru&Kazu are dormant and resting :P)
MSN: Online/Away

Time: 22nd May 2008, 1.20PM

KaoCHO of Today (01)

:( Unfortunately, I've added a new section called, 'KaoCHO of Today' which features what's going on in my life now that concerns me. ^^ It's more likely supposed to be a short and brief explanation.

Mood:
I feel normal, and happy! But slightly distracted. :'(

Social Life:
:) Yay, I'm talking with Mayven again! :P That's a good thing, right?

Money Life:
~___~;; I never had a money life..

Gaming Life:
:o I've stopped gaming, but I still go on my mule, Kazu, to collect stuff and sell them. It's all automatic, so practically I'm not playing. :P But I do chat with my friends.

Internet Life:
So hooked up on listening to Ellegarden. x___x;; I want to listen to more of it! And also blogging has once more become a part of my life.. ~_~ Damn it.

Love Life:
*heart beats faster* @____@;;; .... Well.. I have no say in this.. :P But.. I DO like someone. *slight blush* x////x;; Someone you wouldn't know! Uhhh.. yay? And definitely someone not in my school.

Family Life:
XP My parents are away for 2 weeks?

Study Life:
@__@;; Still distracted, and exams are within the week!! AGH NOOOO!!

KaoCHO's Wonders on Life (02)

"One day I saw you hit the ground
I could not find a word to say to you.."

Have you ever felt the disappointment in yourself, when you find that you are unable to say anything, or comfort your friend whenever she or he feels down? I find it odd, you can say a word that may break someone's heart, but you can only say a thousand words that may heal a heart. I honestly find it unfair.

It sometimes makes me think, 'Ahh.. I feel so useless here...' and I end up feeling worse, and start being really useless + negative thoughts. x___x;; but what can I expect?

Whenever I feel horrible, I try not to show it, but it does anyway. x__x;; I don't like the feeling of someone being concerned about me.. x__x;; I just feel like a bother, and all. But the feeling of knowing someone is concerned about me, makes me happy. XD;; 'My existence matters!' I was thinking.

"I know you hide the scar on your back
So you don't need to do that no more.."

Some people, as they hide their anxiety and feelings under a mask, they think what they feel shouldn't bother the rest. Well, for me, when I know about it, all I can say to them is, 'It's all right. Just take that mask off when I'm here.' x___x;; When I do, they tell me stuff, which I accept, but I cannot think of what to say to comfort the person. So I tell them my logic, and what I think.

:P I know, this just totally contradict what I do. x___x;; I guess I'm the type to advise, and talk, but never follow my own advice. I wonder if it means I never gave it a thought..

I recall having to say to Fee, 'oh, he's definitely crushing on you,' and when she talks about that guy a lot, I'd say, 'oh, you like him too!' XD;; Well, this makes me think of what I felt. Having to feel awful about stuff, when people have to ask me, 'do you like him?' and I'd feel as if my heart just got pained and realized something. I'd feel panicked, but try to keep calm. 'No! No.. I don't like him.. I think I don't.. maybe..' and then I think.. 'Maybe.. I do...' Then later on, it'll be like, 'Aaaaahh.. what should I doooo?' x___x;; I may be able to tell when one likes another, but I can't tell if I like that person or not.

(Lyrics in italic are from ロストワールド by Ellegarden)

Music: ロストワールド (By Ellegarden)
Dorama: None (Wanting to watch HYD The Final!)
Games: DOMO (is on!)
MSN: Online/Busy

Time: 20th May 2008, 3.11PM