Sunday, May 25, 2008

KaoCHO's Series of Confessions (03)

People come and people go; but who actually keeps coming back?

No one is expected to stay by your side forever. And maybe, your close one would have to go. It was never easy to let them go, but you have to anyway.

But I have this weird luck where, everyone around me comes, and when they go, it's usually at the same time. During my time on DOMO, I had quite a few friends who I was close to, and we chatted everytime. ^^ It was fun, but it never lasted long.

I had to do something as stupid as to tell the guild officer about my friend (Ish) leaving to make his own. Then he just left, deleted me, put me on black list. It really broke my heart when he said to me, 'Well, it seems as if my feelings don't matter to you.' I wasn't expecting that, and all I did was stood there, with tears in my eyes. '....why did I do that...' was what I was thinking for days. Someone, Renn, just kicked the spirits back into me, also with the help of Pheo. I was fine, well.. I kept saying I was fine.

Until one day, Renn told me how confused I was, and how indecisive I became. It wasn't Ish that was on my mind. It was what he said. 'You KNEW I would do this, and you just decided on it anyway.' I was really guilty, and so scared, 'What if I lost more friends..' I could help but thought of that.

Soon after, Pheo had pressed on me too much, I just blew it. And the next thing I know, he's just going with another member. I felt as if I was replaced. Then after some time, I noticed how two of my close friends weren't going on. I felt so depressed even more. But, gladly, Mr. IL&MC just cheered me up, and I have to thank him for that!

Soon enough, I cleared up my business with Pheo. Okay, we weren't as close, but hell with it. Then, one day, Mr. IL&MC tells me something.. I really hoped didn't come.. ^^;; And in the end, he has to go as well. When I went on DOMO to add a friend, Pheo tells me that Renn is leaving the guild. Gosh, I feel so horrible!

But, I couldn't say a word. I wanted to tell them what I felt about it.. but I couldn't.. Because I don't want to drag them down.. ^^;; Maybe, what Ish said really got to me.. His words made me feel as if I was the selfish one.. but.. what was I do to?

1 comments:

Unknown said...

lol dont worry. It'll only be like... 7 weeks XD